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[DESCRIPTIVE] when it happened

This post will be going into detail regarding some of what happened that night. Itll be gory or at least cringe-worthy. Just warning you now.
EDIT: I didn't realise it'd be so hard to write this. I thought I'd gotten ahold of the emotions regarding this topic.
-E.
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It's hard to know how to describe what that night felt like. I guess what best describes it is sandpaper. When he forced his way inside, there was no kind of lubrication, and very little blood to help matters. He was putting a square peg into a round hole, and it hurt worse than anything I've ever felt in my life. It hurt so bad my mind and memory completely blacked out, until the only 'thing' that remained was that burning, unstoppable pain. I couldn't even feel scared, or sad, or fight. I just lay there while he took away my innocence. And the regret I've later come to feel, the realisation that while it happened, I did nothing to stop it, still fills me with shame and regret to this very day. And what hurts me even more I'd the fact that if I was ever faced with that situation again, I'd probably black out and just lay there and take it all over again.

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